The Cost of Being the [Girl] Boss
BOSS Lady Jax has a message about the cost of being the [girl] boss.
The Cost of Being the [Girl] Boss
Time for a new era of girl boss behavior.
The other day, I saw a video about a woman’s friend group ridiculing her for wearing cheap clothes. Apparently, they all wore designer clothes and drove NEW luxury vehicles. The friend group made fun of the woman for wearing a SHEIN fast fashion outfit and driving a luxury vehicle that was 6 years old. I thought it was so silly especially given the times we are in. Like, girrrrls!! Don’t you know that people are struggling right now? Lately, it seems like a lot of celebrities and influential people are not reading the room. I feel like I say this all the time, but things are not great in society, especially in the US. People are really struggling to pay bills, find jobs and maintain their sanity in a society that has become increasingly divisive.
OAN, have any of you watched All’s Fair? This is the new Hulu show about high-powered female attorneys, you know, doing their Girl Boss thing. It stars Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Glenn Close, Niecy Nash, Sarah Paulson and Teyana Taylor. The show is being talked about everywhere for its cringe Girl Boss vibe. The reviews are not…great. Now I will say this: my curiosity got the best of me and I watched the first two episodes. It’s fun to look at as far as aesthetics are concerned. Beyond that? It leaves a lot to be desired. Which is a problem in the way that we see powerful women.
Now, where you are in your own Girl Boss journey will determine how you receive what I have to say. So, I want to say this with as much sensitivity as I can: the Girl Boss era, as we know it, is over. For lots of reasons. Before I go on, I just want to say that I like pretty things. It could be fashion, art, architecture - I like my eyes to be stimulated by beauty. I like inspiration and affirmations. They are great tools in helping to think about how I show up in this world and to stay motivated when achieving big goals. WillI I spend all of my coins to fit the aesthetic? Ummm, no. But it is so fun to look at and explore!
To me, the Girl Boss era peaked between 2016-2018. Around this time, we had a major uprising because so many were upset about Donald Trump winning the 2016 Presidential Election. We had the Women’s March in January 2017 and the #MeToo Movement regained momentum later that year, though it was originally started by Tarauna Burke. In the years leading up to this, you had people like Sophia Amoruso who started her own Girl Boss platform.
The Girl Boss Era was filled with a lot of:
Inspiration: Fun sayings like “Yasss, Queen”, “You Got This”, “Slay All Day” “The Future Is Female”, “Reclaiming My Time”, “Phenomenal Woman”
Affirmations: Cards, notebooks with pithy one-liners to remind us to love ourselves or remember that we are superstars.
Aesthetics: Perfectly curated Pinterest Boards, Instagram feeds and lifestyles that most people could only dream of.
Hustle & Grind Culture: Girl Boss gurus and influencers telling us to work hard and rest when we die.
Women’s Empowerment: Curated women’s events and communities where advice was dispelled on how to have it all. Professional photos of women dressed in the same color scheme with messages of women supporting women or when women shine, we all shine.
Not gonna lie, I was a bit immersed. It felt like that was the thing to do as a 30-something professional trying to figure out how to have it all.
But then the pandemic happened and things went off the rails. Suddenly, we were all stuck at home; scared; and seeing a lot of the same celebrities and influential figures live their lives as if people weren’t suffering across the globe. The mood changed. The economy changed. Society changed. Suddenly, the inspiration, the affirmation and the empowerment talk started to feel a bit cringe. It wasn’t the idea of these things, but how it was marketed at a time when people were suffering.
Fast forward to today. The Girl Boss era, as it was once known, no longer meets the moment we’re living in. Today’s challenges require more than cute quotes and curated aesthetics. They call for real substance, intentional leadership, and collective impact to deal with the real world problems we face. The new era of empowered women is all about clarity, community, and conscious action. It’s less about the optics and more about the outcomes. This shift doesn’t mean letting go of style or ambition; it means redefining success on our own terms and leading with purpose, not performance.
So, what does this new era of Girl Boss entail? Well, it’s about digging a little deeper than surface level optimism about what women can do (which is a lot).
Strategies for Modern-Day Girl Boss
Prioritize Purpose Over Perfection: A pretty feed won’t fix your life. Instead of chasing aesthetics, chase alignment. Ask yourself: Is this helping me build the soft, solid, ease-filled life I actually want? Skip the highlight reel because your real life deserves the spotlight.
Make Room for Nuance: You can be a whole boss and be burned out. Grateful and going through it. Let’s retire the “good vibes only” agenda. Real ones talk about what’s really going on. Normalize ambition with rest, honesty with healing, and power with pause.
Build What You Can Back Up: Forget the fake-it-til-you-break-down. It’s okay to grow slow. Share the late nights and the wins, the pivots and the progress. The real flex? Building trust because you kept it real not because you kept it curated.
Champion Collective Success: Hype women who don’t move, think, or look like you. We’re not building empires, we’re building ecosystems. Cross-pollinate. Uplift. Un-gatekeep. Scarcity is out, collaboration is in. Make space, don’t just take it.
Redefine What Success Really Means: Likes aren’t a legacy. Titles don’t tell the whole story. Stop chasing a brand and start living your values. Ask: Do I feel good about how I show up? And if not? Reboot, reroute, rewrite.
Invest Wisely, Not for the ‘Gram: That $5K mastermind? Cute. But is it useful? Don’t let marketing finesse your common sense. Buy what aligns. Save where it counts. Your glow-up budget should be sacred, not stress-inducing. Financial boundaries? That’s a soft life superpower.
Look, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a woman or girl who enjoys aspects of the peak Girl Boss era. We just have to admit that it’s more for entertainment than is in moving the needle of progress. And that’s ok. But we do need to see more girl, lady, female bosses showing us how to navigate a world that has fundamentally changed and provide the tools to help us thrive even during uncertain times. Or we can come together to create new communities and new spaces that not only help women thrive, but help us be the change we want to see.
Interested in defining a new era of Girl Bosses? Me either!! But I do want to help you navigate uncertain times. Download the, Modern Boss Moves worksheet to move from girl boss empowerment to being an impactful woman. Curious about the story behind the story? Check out my latest Hustle Rewritten Substack, The Cost of The Hustle, where I begin to unpack the cost of hustle culture in society and on our lives. Explore the world of Sassy | Chic | Geek, check out our content here on Substack, on YouTube and Pinterest. We occasionally post on IG and Facebook.
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