Not Every Story You Inherited Is Yours to Finish

Not Every Story You Inherited Is Yours to Finish

The hard work of breaking generational curses.

Did you inherit recipes from your parents, grandparents or great grandparents? If so, what are they? For me, it was black-eye peas, green beans and collard greens! I certainly inherited these recipes from my mom that she got from her mom. Do you notice how each generation puts their own spin on these recipes? For example, I don’t use salt pork or “fat back” when I’m making any of those dishes. Maybe I will cook a piece of ham or bacon in those dishes to add that extra flavor! Whatever that means. I also learned how to perfect my mom’s baked ziti and lasagna. We make ours very differently.

There are also things that we inherit from previous generations that we were told would serve us, but it did just the opposite. Especially when we think of the struggles that many of our ancestors had to face in fighting for their freedoms. We get told stories of those struggles and we also see how they showed up in our own families and how they got passed onto us.

My parents taught me to be a good person. They taught me life lessons for a world that seems to have changed so much since they came of age. They taught and demonstrated things like work twice as hard, put others first, keep it all together, don’t ask for help, and never stop grinding. I tried to live up to those expectations in this modern world and it nearly broke me. Not because I couldn’t do those things, but because I did those things and it was oftentimes to my own detriment and my own well-being.

So, I want to say this: just because you inherited a story doesn't mean you're obligated to keep writing it. Especially when the plot no longer fits your life.

Here are 6 signs that it might be time to set down a story that’s no longer yours to tell:

1. You’re living by rules you never agreed to. You were told to choose a certain life path by your family and you complied, but it has left you feeling unfulfilled. When you become an adult, you have the right to make choices about how you want to live your life. While we don’t want to disappoint our families, we also don’t want to live for someone else’s dreams.

2. Guilt shows up when it is time to rest. If you can’t sit still without feeling like you’re wasting time, you may be confusing what you were conditioned to do with ambition. We all need rest to recharge so that we can have the energy to accomplish all of our goals.

3. You’ve outgrown the values that once shaped you. Maybe hustle, perfection, or self-sacrifice got you here. But they won’t take you where you want to go.

4. You feel more loyal to the story than to yourself. Whether it’s family pressure or cultural expectations, staying loyal to something that hurts you isn't strength. We all have to do things that we don’t like, but our goal is to minimize that as we gain more autonomy over our lives.

5. You’re trying to fix something that’s not your fault. Generational cycles? Societal gaps? Those may have shaped your origin story but they don’t have to shape your ending. You get to decide your legacy and which stories you want to carry forward.

6. Your identity feels borrowed, not embodied. When you live someone else’s narrative long enough, you forget what your own voice sounds like. And when you start to find and raise your voice, you begin to narrate your story through a whole new lens.

We can be here all day talking about breaking generational curses. There’s so much work to do. I want to start the conversation and see where we head. As we evolve with society, we have to create a new set of rules for how we live, work and play. You are allowed to exit the story you’ve been told mid-chapter. You can close the book without writing the final scene. You can even start a whole new genre. Because at some point, rewriting your life means being brave enough to say: This part of the story ends with me.

Looking for ways to write a new story for yourself? Download The Rewrite Begins worksheet to start writing a new story for the life that you want to live. Curious about the story behind the story? Check out my latest Hustle Rewritten Substack, The Hustles That Built Us, to learn about specific hustles that we are on a mission to rewrite. Explore the world of Sassy | Chic | Geek, check out our content here on Substack, on YouTube and Pinterest. We occasionally post on IG and Facebook.

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